‘Ibu nak ayam’

Yesterday, I went to Pantai Medical Centre, Bangsar to visit ‘Honey’, my friend’s daughter. Honey was admitted because she suffers asthma. Honey is only a year and a half. She was having lunch when I came by. She was sitting politely and quietly biting her chicken nuggets.. nyumm..nyumm.. it is also served with fries, tomato and salad.. wowwee!! I tell you the lunch served in PMC is greatttt. Hehe…

Anyways, the thing that touches my heart was when she said ‘Ibu nak ayam’. It is not the things that she says but more of the, soft voice coming out from a baby girl make me feel so sad. I mean, I know that I shouldn’t have this kind of feeling, but I just can’t help myself. I am an ordinary human being. I am bound to make mistakes. I am not perfect. Automatically, I start to compare her with my 2 beautiful daughters. Oh God! Help me please. I am not trying to make everybody’s life harder, but seriously I am just a mother who wants to see the daughter to be able to do the same.

I nearly put on tears as I said to my friend that is so cute of her to say such things. My friend notices my face changes and she comforted me by saying that, it is okay, the day will come. Yupp!! I know the day will come. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make it more complicated to everybody. Argghh!!! At times, I am just weak and sad.

I was reading somebody else’s blog and this is what I got :

Luqman Al-Hakim berpesan:"Sekiranya engkau memandang segala-galanya datang dari Allah yang menimpakan ujian, menyebabkan keinginanmu terhalang serta menyusahkan hidupmu, pasti damailah hatimu.... Kerana, takkan Allah sengaja mentakdirkan segalanya untuk sesuatu yang sia-sia....Bukan Allah tidak tahu betapa deritanya hidupmu, retaknya hatimu...Tetapi, mungkin itulah yang Dia mahu, kerana Dia tahu, hati yang sebegitulah lebih mudah dan lunak, untuk dekat dan akrab dengan-Nya...."

Reading this really helps BIG TIME. It relieves the pain from me. And also another way to keep on motivating myself is ‘Remember, that I am not the unluckiest or unfortunate person on earth. Just look at the family who have to end up eat snails everyday to live. See, I am not that bad at all. I am really lucky and I should be thankful.’

“Ya Allah! Aku bersyukur kepada-MU dan ampunkan segala dosa-dosa ku. Aku tidak berniat untuk merungut dan meratapi keadaanku. Maafkan aku Ya Allah. Maafkan aku. Sesungguhnya, berikanlah aku kekuatan dan kesabaran untuk menjalani hidup ini. Amin.”

P/s : Sorry, but I needed to express myself. Thank you very much for ‘listening’.