Hysterical Mother

Molly(my-best friend in College) told her sister about my daughter’s condition, and this is what her sister reply.

“Eh! Hyperactive cemana, tengok Kak Ace tu pun aktif jer. Ikut mak nya kot!”

How I wish, my kids are just ‘my-kind-of-active’!!

*sigh*

My kids DID IT AGAIN!! I was sooo tensed. Stressed. Out-of-control. I tried to be patient and be calm. Arghh!!! I cannot tolerate any longer. I tried. I did. Am I a BAD MOTHER???

You might wonder, what is it that they do and how bad is it until I cannot endure? Firstly, Kakak continuosly put her hands in her mouth until she vomited. The first time she did that, I quickly get a tissue and wipe it out. The second time, I can still bear with her. I can still put up a smile on my face and wipe it out. The third time, my anger starts to build up, but I told myself to be patient. The fourth time, my voice starts to change, without a smile and with an angry looking face again I wipe it off. For the fifth time, it starts getting into my nerves and I start to act a little bit aggressive. Sixth time, I start to mutter plus be extra fierce. Seventh time, I was beginning to be out-of-control and start muttering, and scolded my daughter in every way. The eight time, I start pulling her hands and bring her to the toilet and ask her to stay put. Nothing happened; get her in her previous position. Again, for the ninth time, I cannot take it any more. I just clean and went off. Tenth time, I had enough of it and drag her to the sink. Stayed in that position for a while. When I think she is okay, let her continue whatever she’s been doing. I was at her side; watching in the-most-fierce-looking way. Only then, she managed to compose herself. She did try to put her hands inside her mouth, but I was ferociously looking and took her hands away. Am I mean? I know I was mean at some point, but how am I supposed to go about it. I have no clue. My patience is really been tested. I am just a regular, ordinary mother of two.

It is sooo depressing. I am sorry, Kakak. How I wish both of us do not have to go through all this?

As for Dedek, it was something else. She did not do it many, many times, but the thing that she did really made me as a mother mad, angry and outraged. She likes to put her hands in her diapers. Thus, what happened was she poo-ed and she plays with her ‘thingy’. She plays it with both of her hands. Her hands are all covered with ‘shits’. Not only it is smelly; it is totally gross. I didn’t even know how to carry her up to the toilet. I managed though, and quickly wash her up. I was mad. Somehow, I don’t think she understands. Because, she kept on giving me the cute face, with a very charming smile that can melt your heart, however, I maintain with my supposedly manner which is being furious. She still gave me that adorable smile of hers and I felt stupid being mad at her. Kids are clever. Since, I cannot really be angry; I took the option to remain quiet and ignored her all the way. And that works, and so I proceed just to teach her a lesson in which I was mad and what she did was wrong and not forgiven. Fullstop.

Wasn’t that enough to bring me down?

Apparently, that was not enough. A series of being naughty followed. I finally tried laid back by getting some sleep and so, I could do a tad bit of studying later. Even that cannot be fulfilled. My kids cried and cried all the way. They forced me to be up. End of the day, I was sooo exhausted and with no studying I unhappily sleep. Arghhh!!!

And now, I am all-stuck with my work. Haih...