Lift Me Up!!

Despite the cheerfulness, cheeriness and happy-go-lucky self that I always portray myself as, beneath it, underneath the skin, deeply inside I am not always happy and cheerful. I can see my inner self have its own emotional cycle.

Of course, when I am happy, I am really happy. And it was never a fake joy that I display. However, the next moment I can lock myself in the toilet, let the tap open and I cry as much and as loud as I want. I know this sounds really pathetic. But, somehow I just want to let it all out and crying, to me is the best therapy.

Normally, at this point of time blogging or writing seems to be the second best thing after crying to express myself. I will need to motivate myself each time I feel sadden. As usual, I need to pick up my confidence, my virtue that fell and crushed into pieces. I need to gather my strength to be able for me to form it back to its original.

Sometimes I wonder, how long do I have to endure all this? I know that I have to be strong for me to maintain ‘my family’. Nevertheless, sometimes I feel that I am no longer strong and capable of it. I felt weak.

Ace, wake up! Life has to go on. Just bear in mind that this is not the end of the world. Remember, there are other people who have more difficulties and test in life. Just continue be your positive self. The hard work will definitely pay off someday!!

*closing my eyes – really hoping everything will get better each day. Insya-Allah*