Maafkan Mama Sayang.....

Am I a bad mother, when I let something happen to my own kid? It was an accident. Even though, people kept on telling me that it was not my fault, but how in the world could I forgive myself? Yes, things happen for a reason. What reason is there? A Lesson for me and hubby! Why not me? Why must it be her?

You can never know what the future holds and that is exactly what happened yesterday. I was checking the washing machine when I heard Dedek screaming and running towards me. She accidentally spilled the hot water to her front body, from the chest to her belly. I panicked.

We brought her to clinic. Her body was badly injured. I couldn’t stand looking at her. I felt terrible. I felt useless. I felt hopeless. I’m sorry Dedek. I really am. I wished I could reverse the whole thing and none of this would happen. It was all my fault. My fault. My fault.

Tears kept on watering my eyes. It is something I could not control. I am just so cruel. How could I do that to my own daughter? What kind of a mother am I? I’m a heartless woman.

But, whatever I say to myself, it wouldn’t make any difference. She is already suffering it now. She will have scars. The scars that will always make me feel guilty. The scars that will never let me forgive myself, forever!

Lesson Learnt ~ Do not put hot water within the kids reach. Even they never touched it before; do not underestimate them, coz they probably won’t play with it, but kids being kids, their always curious. Just be extra careful.

To Dedek,

Mama sorry Sayang! I didn’t mean to let it happen to you.

Your regretful mother,
Ace~