The moment you were born, you are dying!

I have become speechless. I suddenly felt so lost. I am still actively doing some soul-searching.

I haven’t been blogging for lots of reasons. One of it is due to my workload. We are currently at a critical stage as of now. The client wanted to take legal action and so, that explains the working day and night plus weekends non-stop. I hate it when I have to be involved.

The story goes like this. My Company got a small project on Hyperion (my so-called expertise). Without verifying with me, they took the challenge, as usual it seems. Anyways, they asked me to fly to Singapore and do the estimation according to the scope of work. And so, I did and the outcome was 37 days in total.

But, what do you know, the day I was there, I was told that we already missed the development stage and it’s already SIT (System Integration Test Cycle). I was like, huh! I have not even looked at it, what more develop it and I already need to test it and submit it? What the ‘toot’!!!!!

And, the worst part was, I never ever worked on the product before. Yes, I am a Hyperion person, but do you know that there are loads of Hyperion products and so, not all of it that I’m good at?

They asked me to get help from the other teams in India but, unfortunately, no one, I repeat NO ONE has ever done it too!!!

Gosh! I am so pissed. However, it’s too late. I am stuck. And so, that is when I told my Reporting Manager to send me home and I’ll be working off-shore otherwise, without hesitation I will ‘quit’.

Reason being, at least working off-shore, I am not alone, I still have people around me and in some unusual ways, it does helps a lot. Environment does play a big role for me to work productively and to think creatively as well.

So, is that all in which bugs me? Is that all that stops me from blogging? Nope, definitely not. For those who are around me, they could see that I am somewhat ‘crazy’. I am always sad. I am always clueless and I am stressed.

Things are just not right. Things are just not running smoothly as I want it to be. I nearly lost everything in my life. I nearly blew it. And to this, I really thanked the people around me who never stop supporting me.

I have not yet fully recovered but I am indeed, trying hard to adjust and adapt myself to it. It is not easy for me, believe me it’s not. However, to me at least, I feel that the burden is much lesser because the truth is out. And that, what matters most!